• treechicken@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    “Hi team, customers observing BigCannon is missing enemy about 90% of time since latest update. Red faction reported issue 4pm ET today and opposing Blue faction was able to re-pro. Can we get all hands on deck to deep dive and push a fix by midnight so both sides can start reliably shooting at each other again before tomorrow morning? Thanks”

    • _dev_null@lemmy.zxcvn.xyz
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      8 months ago

      before tomorrow morning?

      DoD contractor: Sure can, but it will cost you huge.

      (Lies about the former, 100% accurate on the latter.)

  • tatterdemalion@programming.dev
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    8 months ago

    I don’t understand how Agile became synonymous with “useless meetings.” I thought the whole point of Agile was to minimize wasted work.

    • Tekhne@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      My “scrum leader” (who we handled agile just fine without before) is constantly complaining about points or priorities shifting, to the point that he’ll tell us to not put what we’re actually working on on the board because it’ll mess up the burndown chart.

      One of the 4 values of agile is “responding to change over following a plan”. He’s parroted this to us before, and yet still doesn’t seem to see the irony.

  • slazer2au@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    So more meetings about meetings, a 2h daily standup, and a follow-up meeting about blockers.

    • RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com
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      8 months ago

      Let’s make a meeting to schedule a workshop about useless meetings then. That’ll fix all issues. Oh and we need a meeting to communicate the findings. And a retro.

      Do we need some tickets for that? I’ll schedule a planning.

      And some emergency meetings to talk about our low velocity.

      Edit: and that isn’t too far off of our “agile” work 😭

  • secretspecterA
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    8 months ago

    and yet y’all are also gonna keep trying to use Agile too