Palms get itchy when we’re excited

We’re smashing the invisible fairies that otherwise might whisk away talented people.

To show dominance over the T-Rex

Converting CO² back to O² by atom smashing.

To turn the light off/on

If it’s after something like a concert it’s people catching the leftover sound waves from the music in their hands so they can take them home and keep them

How can she slap?

Because we can’t afford to actually pay our national healthcare workers a living wage, we simply stand outside on some nights and clap together for them in unison. This gives 51% of the country warm feelies, which is much more important than actually paying these essential workers.

I’m actually not sure it’s a cultural universal. I mean, snapping has seen use even in some subcultures within the West. I’ve seen stomping used for a similar purpose, as well. The point is I guess just to make noise communally.

Fun fact, the kiss might not be universal depending on who you ask, either.

Those cheeks aren’t going to clap themselves

To prove our superiority in grace over sea lions, who also can clap, but not as gracefully

Because causing pain to ourselves is a sign of gratitude to those we directing the gesture towards.

Because Jeb! requires it. Now clap.

Because we forget to buy condoms.

Cos the bastards stopped me banging my shield