Meanwhile, the economy rich people’s yacht money is doing fantastic by every metric.

Holiday special: Make one campaign contribution at a fixed amount, get two more campaign contributions made on your credit card in variable amounts in the near future. Merry Christmas!

I tied a ROFLcopter to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to make a shitpost cost a cheeseburger, and in those days, cheeseburgers came with pictures of cats on 'em. “I can has cheezburger,” you’d say.

“Tell President Zuckerberg my only regret is that I have but one life to give to block his ads.”

If you can’t handle me at my rude and unreasonable chicken, you don’t deserve my strange juice.

Terrible parenting. If you’re going to go to the trouble of yeeting your baby at least do it properly with a baby trebuchet.

They must be protected from Admiral Zhao!

Primal scream therapy. Great for keeping you awake. Plus it keeps terrified coworkers from bothering you at all ever.

I remember someone telling me to look at the driver to be reminded it’s a person and not a machine. Honestly, that makes it several orders of magnitude worse. It’s not a car going 20 under in the passing lane during rush hour, it’s a flesh and blood human being causing the car to go 20 under in the passing lane. It’s a choice being made by a human. That’s so, so much worse.

Claiming to have missed a message is ~1/4 of all the messages I send. I’m not about to provide proof that I’m lying.

He’s probably pinin’ for the fXords.