Anecdotal, and not a woman personally, but I’ve had a similar experience from days long gone; ultimately we ended up trying out different toys and the sucking sort of vibrator with lower settings was what got her past the “block”, but it was via masturbation. We’d only move it to our together time after she got comfortable with the sensation and desensitized, as she described it. In our part of the world the main brand name for this kind of toy was “satisfyer”, not sure if that is global though.

After a while it all just clicked and it became something more familiar to me too, with fingers and tongue (though she did still prefer sucking over licking, which for me as a young man back then was new, but very much a priceless enlightenment and a much appreciated skill I later had time to hone more) ultimately joining in and it all becoming something more familiar to my less experienced younger self.

What I’ve learnt since though, is that everyone is so wildly different, that just simply masturbating together, or learning to, if the other party/parties aren’t experienced there, has been key to lasting mutual satisfaction. And people and their needs/wants change over time, that’s also important to keep in mind. And masturbation is the thing that naturally reflects that. Just talk, talk, talk, and then experiment. Try and keep an open mind, and try to be accommodating. Change and new things take time. Try your best not to get frustrated or load too much expectations into the process. And try and understand the other party/parties are the ones having a harder time coming to terms with the fact that they could not meet your initial expectations. They have a lot of pressure due to this, though it’ll ultimately be mutually beneficial.

Also I’ve noted that it’s so easy to fall prey to thinking that you’re the one giving or somehow “improving” their life here, but this is, in fact, your need that needs to get satisfied. You want her to feel things she does not currently. It’s not a bad thing, this is how life is when you share it with someone, but do not think you are being the giving party here. This is your need, which she either chooses to accommodate and figure out together, or not. And you might best start accepting that this experiment might not lead anywhere, and that you might have to change your expectations accordingly.

As a young(er), morbidly curious and then still fairly naive dumbass, I went and clicked on some questionable link on a Reddit thread, and was introduced to something known as “Funky Town”.

That shit set me straight pretty well, been avoiding everything even remotely suspiciously feeling it might be or explicitly is gore-related, but the imagery alone still haunts me to this day, not to mention all the other stuff like imagining how any of the people involved must feel, both emotionally and physically.

I debated mentioning this by name for a fair bit, but I think this thread is specifically for this kind of thing, so I’ll leave it. Anyone clicking here is expecting horrifying things, so it won’t catch anyone off guard. But I STRONGLY RECOMMEND NOBODY GOES LOOKING FOR THIS SPECIFIC THING. You will not get it out from behind your eyes. Seriously.

As far as I’m aware, most of the “dangerous” lua api (io/network etc) is blocked and only available to mods during the startup phase, and not otherwise during runtime.

But I’m sure there are workarounds. For one, I’ve written mods with rust for it, and you can require and then call any dynamic library through lua, with all of the io and networking you’d want, as long as it is brought in during the init phase. And the mods that do access the “dangerous” api, have to be explicitly given rights to do so (but again, by the server, not the clients) in the config before it works.

It’s not that bad for the most cases, as long as you trust the server. If playing single player, you personally control which mods get the secure environment access, so at that point it’s entirely your own fault, if you get exploited.

I can’t see the benefit, what am I missing?

Sure. But it might be useful for someone to know this before dedicating time responding genuinely. If it’s still irrelevant, great. If it might change someone’s mind about spending their time, then also great.

Only giving context here. Might be relevant to some.

My reading comprehension is just fine, your lack of capability to understand context and tendency to deal in absolutes and binaries in a world made of wide spectrums, shades of gray and unpredictability, on the other hand, does not seem to pass the smell test.

Either you argue in bad faith, are intentionally a shifting contrarian or just not competent enough to either understand the world or at the very least discuss it with others in a way that makes sense.

Just to throw my two cents in: This user isn’t a genuinely curious ponderer, rather they are a Russian troll trying to fish for arguments they could further use in bad faith to lick Putin’s boot.

Just read through their comment history and make your own mind. This is not genuine and most everyone is just feeding the troll.

The question itself is worth asking though. A lot of good points here, but they’d be better given in good faith for someone genuine.

Yup, that seam/twist there on the foreground is almost a definitive giveaway

Edit: I mean I guess that especially a rich person could, for some reason, wear a weird ass scarf designed by someone who thinks in a very out-of-the-box way… but which is more likely?

Yours is a somewhat more cynical way of writing it down, but the underlying mindset is one I share.

I prefer to see it as not expecting anything from anyone, rather than expecting them to disappoint you. It’s basically the same, but doesn’t feel as cynical.

It truly changes your life though, no matter how you see it. I can’t remember myself having been, in real life, angry or disappointed in people in great many years. Life is just so much better without those feelings, which seems obvious, but you can’t really emphasis that enough still.

It took me years of self-reflecting and “finding myself” in the process of overcoming a years-long bout of clinical depression. It’s not easy, but I do believe everyone can find that mindset, given enough effort and perseverance. Sisu.

Ah, now it makes sense. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you before, with a post about how can one plan to live alone for the rest of their life, or something to that effect, and it was exactly like this.

Seriously, I think you should not only consider, but also just straight out start therapy. And you should start it pronto. I’m sure Italy has a more or less accommodating welfare system that makes this possible. Takes jumping through a few loops likely, but my man, you seem miserable and it makes me sad to see anyone live with a mind like this. Life could, and should, be as tolerable as possible, if not even nice. I realize you are in a mental state where this sounds unrealistic or just out right hopeless dreaming, but I’m telling you, if you are in a western Europe country and have access to internet and basic utilities, you already have all it takes to make you happy. The rest of it is just improving mental health and attitude.

Best of luck, though I expect you won’t even consider any of this and will just continue taking the easy road of ignorance and giving up. And that’s fine, it’s your prerogative. But I truly hope you find some help and people around you to get you through this rut.

There’s plenty of work right there. Art is work. Training is work.

It’s not that you’d want to live without work.

It’s that you’d want to do work important and meaningful to you.

No need to undermine it.

The latter is actually a good point. I had almost forgotten how constant and combative reddit was at times with the far-right peeps and incels and whatnot. At the time it had become so normal, one didn’t even think about it. Maybe offer alternative ideas (= argue) a while or just ignore, but now that you mention it, I don’t think there has been many situations like that here, for me at least. Not to say that the enlightened centrists aren’t very much the same in practice, and those I face here every now and then. They just aren’t nearly as bad in substance.

Pretty much the same here. This scratches the very same itch that reddit did, but has several bonuses on top.

Just saying, Steam controller is great and works amazingly still, made only better by the ongoing updates to steam input.

I’m not sure what else they’d need to do. Other than still produce it, I suppose 😅

Most everyone I know have and daily drive one too.

The difference is in the having adhd and not having adhd department. They are very careful and dutiful with them. I can only ever attempt my best to be so, and it only takes the one slip of the mind and it’s gone.

I’m not saying having and using a bike is not safe. I’m saying having and using a bike is not safe, if you end up offering the low hanging fruit to thieves even once a while.

Just an anecdote: Any bike I’ve ever owned, got stolen or if it was well locked, wrecked and hacked to shit for no apparent reason. I have ADHD so it’s difficult for me to go through the motions of carrying the bike with me to the office and back, each time I leave, and at home I haven’t the space to bring it up with me. Most grocers or markets or shops don’t allow me to wheel it along with me inside.

It would be amazing if that was an option, but I’m not rich enough to replace a bike every few months, and I do move enough to warrant having a good bike, not just any cheap and rusty one. So it’s a pickle.

I am still very much in opposition of unnecessary cars in cities, so I do not own one currently, and instead of bike, I move about with buses and trains. It’s okay, but I’d love to have the freedom some days, that a bike provides.

But it is simply impossible for me to own one. It makes no sense whatsoever, since for some reason, the cities are not even close to safe to keep one for someone like me who’s not so great with self-execution and routines. And I live in one of the safest countries on earth, that has been declared the happiest country on earth for 7 years in row now… I can’t imagine how bad it is elsewhere…

Sometimes reality does not fit well with ideals.

Luckily, I have the option of public transport. But I don’t even know what I would do if I didn’t…

Synechdoche, New York

Mostly because I like to recommend things that are likely new to whoever I’m recommending to, and my experience has been that this isn’t a very widely appreciated or even known flick. And I also happen to love it personally, so it just became my go-to recommendation.

I do preface the recommendation with a “After watching it yearly for over a decade, I still don’t really really get it”. Its great.

I think most clients should implement some kind of logic to remove bot comments form the comment counts. AFAIK, lemmy already has a feature to distinguish bots(?), so it should probably should be possible to at least suggest some easy enough api for that if none exist currently.

Had the exact same two in my childhood and youth in Finland. Probably some nuance differences in language, but semantically very similar ones! Muurahaissota and lumisade 🕺

The tips you share towards the end are good, but I don’t think discipline is the guiding star there. Neither is it failing as a parent, if one’s child isn’t necessarily academically inclined, or otherwise has struggles with higher education.

Discipline does not work as you describe, and it does not fall so neatly into one specific category of discipline. Same as intelligence, there are different types of discipline.

And even then, there is no distinct “adult” burnout that is something one can not get in college. That just sounds diminishing and dismissive, and can cause a lot of dangerous and unhealthy coping mechanisms or habits to form for anyone battling with very real burnout, be it in college or in other kind of working environment.

But since your points towards the end are actually helpful and something that is widely recommended for different kind of habit forming endeavors, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you are not intentionally malicious or dismissive with your opening remarks, rather just a product of your environment, which has taught you a very narrow view of a very common issue.